“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”
― Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird
― Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird
As education majors, many of us have to take classes that familiarize us with special education (especiallly if you’re certifying in elementary education - but that’s another blog for another time 😌). At Southwestern, it seems like a future educator has to take more special education classes than those at the average public university. However, today’s blog isn’t about what classes I’m having to take. Today’s blog goes beyond what I have to learn to earn my degree; it’s about what I have learned over the past year and a half or so while taking those special education classes and what I have observed in real life. What I have learned and observed have allowed me to grow as a person and see everyone for who they truly are - a unique character that God made. Everyone was made on purpose for a purpose. To begin with, I’m going to take a quick moment to describe the class I’m currently in that inspired today’s blog. I’m currently (again) taking a class called, “Surveys of Exceptionalities” or “Surveys” as we shorten it at SU. This course is an overview of special education. The purpose of it is for us to try to better understand the different types of exceptional learners that educators may encounter and be responsible for teaching including learners with disabilities, gifted learners, and students at risk. Let's Do Some Thinking...To begin with I’m going to pose some questions and I want you to take a moment and truly think about your response. What comes to your mind when you hear the words physical and/or severe disability? What do you imagine that person looks like? How do you think they got that way? Now let me guess...you probably pictured a boy or a girl in wheel chair, maybe someone who might not communicate very well or someone who may be trapped in their own world...someone who doesn’t look and or doesn’t act “normal”. Lets imagine that you and this person are at the grocery store. You’re complete strangers. You’re both in the produce section. Their caregiver is deciding which apples to pick out and you also are deciding on what apples to get. The caregiver pushes the wheelchair closer to you. What do you do? A lot of the time this situation will make people uncomfortable. Because we are not often around disabled people, we don’t really know how to “act” when we encounter “them”. But now I ask you why do we have to “act” different around “them”? And why are they considered “them”. And what is normal? This person that you’re afraid to get close to doesn’t have a disease. They’re not contagious. They were either born this way or suffer from some postnatal accident. The problem isn’t them. The problem is us. The problem is not the person's disability. The problem is society's view of the person's abilties. We are afraid because we don’t understand. A Whole New WorldThis week I had the opportunity to observe in a Life Skills classroom (a requirement of my Surveys class) and boy were my eyes opened up. For those who don’t know, a Life Skills classroom focuses on everyday skills for special education students: personal/social skills, hygiene, independent life skills such as cooking and clothing care, work competencies, and functional academics. Special education students learn things better when they are not confined to sitting behind a desk or staying in one spot. Learning life skills is best done "by doing”. In observing this class my eyes were open to another whole world. I saw how truly privileged I am for the first time. And let me tell you I am soooo privileged and so are you. I don't differ from what people consider to be "normal" except I can't pronounce my R’s and yet you know what I do? I complain about insignificant stuff ALL the time. I like to think I'm a pretty understanding person but many people aren’t. And because people aren’t understanding, when you take the students that I observed into the real world, those people are only going to see them for their disability. Either people will hardcore stare or avert their eyes and ignore the person. Not many people will see these beautiful souls for who they truly are. Yes some of these children are violent or loud but when you look past their disability(s) there’s so much more to them. Not many people in this world are going to see them for who they truly are - people with exceptionalities who are gifted in an entirely different way. Not many will bother to get past their disability and try to know who they really are. I got to talk to one student and though he couldn’t physically talk back to me, he understood everything I said. One student there is considered to be a ward of the state and has soneone telling him how to live his life and how things should be done. However, this person only sees the student once a year for a few minutes AND is actually afraid of him because he's in a wheel chair. That just breaks my heart. It just makes me want to cry. People with exceptionalities are amazing. Very few people see these amazing children and people for who they truly are. Yes, there was a brief moment when I was scared because of something that happened, but as I continued to spend more time with these students, I saw children for who they were - beautiful people with an exceptionality. They’re all beautiful souls who allowed me to learn and grow as a person. Peope with disabilties can solve their own problems but their lives are often complicated because people without disabilities don't give thought to what life is like for someone who has limitations.
Remember that just like people, disabilites come in all forms. They can be mild or severe, they can be physical or mental or both, you can be born with them or they can develop over time. Any way you put it, a person with a disability is just like you and me - a person. Having a disability isn't bad and never again will I think that. In fact the Huffington Post wrote this article about 10 Things The World Can Learn From People With Disabilites. I don't see people with disabilities. I see that people have exceptionalities. And I'd much rather get to know someone who has an exceptionality because they're way more extraordinary than someone who is "normal"- whatever that really means. XOXO, A Gearle Who See's A Whole New World
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Let's imagine the following scenario: It's 7:46 and Mrs. Smith is in a massive battle with the copy machine - which is all too familiar because the dang machine is a dinosaur. She checks her watch and sees that she has six minutes to get to her class before the bell rings. It's time to give up the battle and accept defeat for the nine billionth time. Mrs. Smith keeps calm and positive and reminds herself she doesn't need the papers until fourth period which starts at 10:45 and that she can make them during her conference period which is third. While no one is looking she kicks the machine and starts her trek to her class. On her way back to her classroom she starts making a mental note of all the things she needs to accomplish during her conference period: submit lesson plans for next week, continue grading Monday's test, run off copies, reply to her department head's email, run to her car to get the checkbook to buy something out of the outrageoulsy expensive band's fundraiser catalog, check her box and there just might be enough time to go to the bathroom and ALL of this must be done in 45 minutes. Mrs. Smith makes it back to her clasroom in just the knick of time. She's ready to battle her first two classes of the day. How they have so much energy this early in the morning, she doesn't know, but she manages to get through these two classes without any incidents. As she sits down at her desk to begin her list of things to do, Ms. Lu, the school secretary, comes over the intercom and asks Mrs. Smith if she's avaible for a parent conference. Mrs. Smith thinks to herself, "Am I available? Physically, yes? Do I have time ? N- " Ms. Lu comes back over and says that Dillion Scott's mom is here to talk to her. Mrs. Smith thinks, "SOS. Where's the fire alarm? Not this parent's student. Not today of all days. My list needs to be tackled and oh my!" Mrs. Smith lets Mrs. Lu know she's on her way to the office and will be there shortly. Before Mrs. Smith heads out, she grabs her classroom bible that contains her grades, attendance, behavior, restroom pass, and anything else a teacher keeps track of. As Mrs. Smith heads to the office she prays to God that the parent isn't near as bad as her child is. Sad to say this scenario isn't imaginary. This quite often happens to teachers. Now what am I trying to get at here? Is it that teachers only get forty-five minutes for a confernece period ? No, I'll save that for a later date. Is it that kids have all this new technology for the classroom but the copy machine is jank ? No. Notice the last sentence in our scenario: As Mrs. Smith heads to the office she prays to God that the parent isn't near as bad as her child is. Too often parents want to talk to teachers about why they (the teacher) is failing their perfect son/ daughter who has never made a bad grade before. Alright this is for all you middle and high school parents and/or soon to be middle and high school parents. Are you ready? 1. Your child is no longer in elementary school and they are no longer as sweet and innocent as they once were. They're beginning to lie and manipulate and they will do anything it takes to stay on mommy and daddy's good side. 2. When your child comes home to you and says, "Mrs. Cindy hates me and she's failing me😩," chances are that's a straight up lie. Your child is probably not Mrs. Cindy's favorite but that's probably because everyday they ask to go to the bathroom, show up late, don't turn in work, refuse to do work, talk back, are distracted in class, or my favorite - disrupting class. ![]() 3. Your child is using that nice little handy dandy cell phone during class. They're texting, listening to music, looking up answers, and cheating on tests. Cell phones are a teacher's worst nightmare. A little off topic - in recent news there was an incident about a girl refusing to leave the classroom as she was asked to do and it led to her being drugged out of her chair. This supposedly started over a cell phone! As she continued to disrupt class, an administrator and then a security officer was called to escort her out and when she refused (big shocker that she refused) things got rough. Parents you are allowing your child to control you when you believe EVERYTHING that he or she says. When you came home from school with a bad grade did your parents assume it was your fault or did they automatically drive down to the school and demand to talk to the teacher? Your child chooses to do homework, chooses to not pay attention, chooses to not study, chooses to sleep in class and chooses to be disrespectful. When your child chooses to do those actions s/he is not giving the teacher much to work with. Teachers hate failing students...a part of them dies. They want all of their students to be successful. So parents, next time before you go down and demand to know why Mrs. Cindy is failing your child, turn around and ask your student to show you their COMPLETED homework, their class assignments, the notes they took in class and ask them when their next test is. It's not the teachers fault that your child is failing. It's your child's fault. Here's a little something for all you teachers out there. Is this relatable? XOXO,
A Future Gearle In Education Monday night, my mom and I were cooking dinner and I was thinking about my regrets, and trust me, I've had a lot. One of the regrets I have is never trying out for cheerleader in high school. Actually I did try out Junior year but I didn't make it. So I guess my regret was not making the cheerleading squad. Another regret I have is never trying out for our drill team. Why didn't I try out? Well I guess the answer is that I never felt like I was skinny enough to try out. Of course then my mom and I started talk about it. That's when I thought maybe we should write about what it's like being a bigger girl which led to writing about what it's like to be bullied. And that's what we're bringing you today. It's almost as if you have to hide behind a mask. What's It Like To Be BulliedI was bullied just about all through seventh grade. The same four boys kept throwing pinecones at me, spitting at me, chasing me in the classroom, and throwing words at me. They tripped me in class one day causing me to rip my shirt. They would call me elephant and make elephant noises as well as pretending the ground was shaking when I walked by. They called me gigatore and ugly and those are the nice ones. I tried telling the teachers but nothing ever got done. My mom had a conference with several of my teachers and was told that boys will be boys. It was a miserable year.
So we start with the question, do you know what that does to someone? I know a girl who lost her light, her smile, and shed more tears than a girl should ever have to shed at that age. I saw a girl go from being vibrant and outgoing to withdrawn and shy. Middle school is a hard time for everyone but it is especially bad when your peers continue to put you down and make fun of you and none of your teachers seem to care. For me, it was my darkest point. Somedays I would try to fake being sick so I didn't have to go to school (it didn't work - my mom was too smart for that). I feared going to school knowing no one was going to do anything to make my situation better, and standing up for myself made it even worse. There were times when I thought what if I didn't exist anymore? What if I hadn't ever been born? Is there an escape? Yes, there were moments I contemplated suicide, but thankfully I never acted on it. The bullying eventually stopped but that didn't mean everything went back to normal. The damage had already been done. I may not have had to face them everyday but I did have to face the aftermath. My self-esteem was shot, and for a while everything was an act. Before all of this, I didn't think much about my weight but boy did I have weight issues after that. Freshman year the constant thought of being an elephant crept into my mind and, to cut the chase, I lost 45 pounds in about four or five months. Not only did I lose a lot of weight but I lost a lot of my hair and gained a life long battle of not eating enough or too much, worrying about how others percieved me, and not trusting my abilities. I didn't try out for sports because I didn't want to be the fat girl. I didn't try out for cheerleading (until the very last year I could) because I didn't want to be the fat girl. I became self-conscious about being the fat dancer in dance class. I looked at everyone on a sports team or dance team or cheer team and thought I couldn't be on that team because I'm too fat. I convinced myself that my ex broke up with me because I was too fat and that I could never get a boyfriend because I was so fat. I'm still convinced (after 10 months with an amazing guy) that I'm too fat for him and he deserves a skinny girl. When I started college I mustered up the courage and I tried out for the dance team (spolier alert - I didn't make it - though it proably had more to do with the fact that I didn't have much drill team experience or technique) and naturally, I blamed not making it on not being skinny enough. I then get these thoughts and think, I need to start a diet and exercise program, so I do. I count calories to the point it becomes a game - and not a good one at that. The game I play with myself sees I only ate 1327 calories yesterday so I eat less the next day therefore, beating the "score". I know for a couple of weeks during my first semester of college I was barely eating 600 calories a day. 600 CALORIES!!! The average calorie consumption a human needs is 2000 calories. I was eating 1/3 of what I should be eating. How did I justify eating that few calories? Well, I was eating three meals a day so surely that was enough, right? I had a breakfast bar in the morning (250 calories), a salad with some veggies and salsa (100 calories) for lunch, and some type of meat and veggie for dinner (250 calories). I had three meals and that's all I needed. Nobody knew it was that bad and I didn't think it was that bad but thankfully I eventually began eating more before it affected my health. Everytime something goes wrong I know it's because I'm fat. Everything is because I'm fat. I use to never think that. But I'm not the perfect skinny girl everyone desires to be friends with or hangout with, right? So thanks to four boys just being boys, I will live a lifetime fighting my self-esteem issues. I understand exactly how Abby feels because I remember in elementary school, I was called names like fatty and had fellow classmates chant at me the old "fatty fatty two by four can't get through the kitchen door". I still suffer from self-esteem issues. We tell you this not to make you sad or give us sympothy. We tell you so that you know that words tryly do hurt and can cause lifelong struggles. After seven years or after forty years, the words you told us still stick to us. So teach your kids and grandkids that words do hurt and will last a life time. Watch out for your friends and family and if you see it, help stop it. We want everyone to be happy and not struggle with selfesteem problems or weight issues. It's a long road. That's it for now. XOXO, The Gearles Unruly Heathens Mommy I have a question. |
Abby & AndreaA college student trying to figure out the world with her mom by herside. Life through my lens (Abby). We all have different stories and these are only some of mine. Some funny, some adventurous, some hard. Sit back and relax. Enjoy. Archives
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